Monday-unexpected

Monday, well it looked like a nice day outside and my cat was out of food so i decided to take a walk to the store and get her some food. Good or bad decision? Well, it was good because my cat needed food, but i had no idea not even a hint of what was about to happen.

There's a shortcut that i've been using since the beginning of this year, a non-paved alley, and by that i mean it's one of the few dirt roads that we have around here, although this alley is half dirt and half rocks.

Usually i wear my black sandals because they allow me to have more secure footing, (my pain consultant has been telling me for two years at least that i have weak ankles and need footwear that gives support to my ankles...i thought yeah that's nice in theory but in summer i love to wear my sandals, which don't have any ankle support) I had already left the building before i realized i had my brown sandals instead of the black ones i usually wear. Well, my mind was distracted by quite a few things that i've been thinking over recently which accounts for why i had not been paying attention to which sandals were on my feet.

So here i am in the middle of the shortcut which i must say is very uneven ground to be walking on even in the best of circumstances, but i'd walked it so many times i was feeling confident. Halfway through said shortcut my right ankle decided to give out on me and i fell. I landed on my hands and knees and my right knee landed a lot harder than my left one. My first thought was, have i broken anything? I wasn't feeling any pain so i got up and realized that part of my right knee and most of the leg was scraped up pretty good. I was bleeding but very slowly so i quickly made the decision to continue on to the store, after all my cat still needed food. I also want to say here that i always go to that store because all the ladies are so nice to me there and i feel so much at home, as apposed to the other stores around here that make me feel like i'm an unwelcome intruder.

By the time i got to the store my leg was feeling a bit stiff and i was starting to feel some pain but it was nothing compared to the pain i go through everyday(for those of you who don't know i have Fibromyalgia as well as CFS and many other medical conditions) i cleaned out my 'injury' the best that i could with clean cloths given to me by the lady that was working that afternoon. I then did my purchases and continued on my way home. By the time i reached home i was in so much more pain, having a hard time bending my knee and my hip had started to hurt as well. I was grateful to be home and to be able to get a better look at my 'injury' and to clean it out properly and sit with my leg up and the area in question covered by a cold cloth. In this way i got the bleeding to stop.

The pain, especially the pain in my hip continued to increase. My 'fall' had happened early afternoon and as the afternoon wore on the pain increased so much i was in tears(now those that know me best know i have a very high tolerance for pain and do everything i possibly can to hide the fact that i am feeling pain, so they know that when i am showing by my body language that i am feeling pain then it is very, very, very bad) By about 6:30 i was in so much pain i was feeling desperate, so i reached out for my favorite means of comfort-prayer. i knew i could not go see a doctor so i asked what can i do? the answer came quickly and i made a phone call and within half a hour the missionaries along with a brother from the church that they happened to have with them at the time were here to give me a blessing. I don't know how to express sufficiently how grateful i am that they were able to do this and arrived so quickly.

Now, more than 24hrs after my fall i am still in some pain, i'm barely having any trouble walking which when this happened walking was almost an insurmountable feat! The pain in consequence of this incident is almost gone, i am still having some pain with my hip but not much. I am so thankful, grateful and feel so blessed right now, i truly feel that 'my cup runneth over'!!!

I suspect that my hip may be bothering me for the next few days, but i am so much recovered compared to yesterday that i feel i will be smiling much today!!

Cathching up

It's been a quiet week, but i have not been online much. On Monday my sister and mom came to visit me. I was glad to see them. They stayed for the usual amount of time which is 1.5 hrs. Since then i've just been here at home. I haven't gone out except to go for my daily walk or to go to the post office. My daily walk is usually to go to the store and i pick up enough food to last me for the day.

Usually summer is my best season healthwise, but this year it's different. I'm in much more pain than usual, not walking as fast as usual either. I wouldn't be able to say why this summer i am worse but there it is, a fact that i cannot change.

Still looking for a home for Belle, my cat. I can't keep her now that I have Muffy. I could afford them both if i retrench, but Belle does not do well with dogs, she would tolerate Muffy being here while my Mom was away on vacation, or when she was in the hospital, but now that this is Muffy's permanent home she is getting very aggressive, nor is she getting the full positive attention that she needs. I would love to be able to give her the full attention that she needs, but Muffy requires a lot of daily care and there just isn't enough time in the day. So i am looking for a good home for Belle. I am hoping to find something soon, it will be much better for both of them.

I've been having weird thoughts and dreams lately. I feel that God is leading me toward a happy and fulfilling path, but i don't know what that is. I wish there was some way for me to get there faster. I'm just going to have to be patient and hold to the faith that He knows what is best for me and will reveal where He is leading me when the time is appropriate.
GB
dixtra
XOXO

Poem

The following poem is my original work, if you want to reuse please ask before doing so. Thanks!

What words echo inside my mind?
Which rhythms are worshipped?
So many rhymes through the kingdom.
So many lies passed with the bread.

How do we wade through the mire?
How do we stay on our chosen course?
Different preachers on each corner,
all imposing their own interpretations.

Why do we doubt intuition?
Why do we circle and never alight?
Years seem like feathers, floating,
through time, through air and hearts.

GB
dixtra

Where I'm at today

I chose to start this blog as a way for people to get to know me better. I've posted a link on my facebook profile to this site for that purpose. Another reason for this blog is because i love writing, and another is that i wanted a way to keep track of what is going on in my life and maintaining a blog is so much more interesting than writing in a journal.
Some may perceive the rest of this post as a rant, but i'm just putting my opinion out there.

Last nite i had a conversation that i'd been looking forward to for a while but was unsure how it would go. I have a very active imagination so several times i tried to imagine the possible avenues that this conversation could take. Never in my wildest of imaginings did i think i would be so obviously lied to!!
I'm not the smartest woman, but i'm not stupid either!
I do remember what people say to me! My memory is bad in some areas, but not when it comes to what people say to me, especially when it is followed up with obvious hints and signs and the same things being said many times over!

I'm not going to go into details. There is no need to for if the person concerned decides to take a look at this post they know what i'm referring to. And if wanted i can tell 'said person' the things that were said many times over.
Maybe i look like i'm stupid, that must be it. Otherwise why completely deny what was said and after a few minutes of thinking come up with a possible explanation that is full of more holes than swiss cheese, and to say it in the most hesitant of voices!!!

But most importantly i want to say, i'm not angry. Disappointed? Very much. Hurting? Well, for a few minutes after the conversation i was but no longer am. Disgusted? My very top pet-peeve is lying. It serves no useful purpose and only creates trouble, this one has created a lot of trouble. Can anyone think of any other emotions, feeling, etc that i can explore in relation to this incident? Please share if you do. If you prefer to share privately email me dixtra@gmail.com

I've not said the last of what i am going to say on this situation/conversation/subject. But that is all i will say here for now only because i have many more important things to dwell on than someone i thought was a friend lying so badly to me...and it was bad because it was so obvious this person was lying, did not believe in the 'alternate explanation', could not make their voice even remotely believable, had to take time to think before giving explanation and it made absolutely no sense, was quite contradictory on a few points...i don't think i need to say more on that.

GB
dixtra

Today already!?

Last nite i had a short visit with my sister. It was good to see her and to get to talk to her. She didn't stay as long as she usually does cus one of her friends was in town. A friend that she doesn't get to see often enough. Actually i wish her friend would have come inside i would have loved to have been able to see her and visit with her for at least a minute or two. Oh well, maybe next time.

I woke up late today and was busy doing errands, then had a surprise visit from two ladies from Church that i hadn't gotten a chance to get to know yet. It was so nice to see them and get to know them a little bit. So after they left i proceeded with feeding my cat and giving my dog his meds, then i needed a break so i sat down to read for a while, then i got caught up in a few other non-productive things, but i was having such a good time! Then Muffy, my dog, started barking and growling at me like he does when i've forgotten something, i had no idea what it was, so i took a peek at the time and oh no! realized it was wednesday, and wednesday afternoon is my scheduled time for the use of the laundry room in the building here. So i had to hurry down there and check if anyone was using it or not, by then it was almost 5pm and i'm supposed to be finished in there by 4pm and the rest of the evening is free time for whoever wants to use it. I was lucky to find it still free!!
Yep, i had not realized it was wednesday...even though i've been saying it for the last couple of years, i've got to find a way to keep better track of the days...

A few of my current thoughts

Today has been a bad day for me healthwise...well actually for the last 5 or 6 days i have been in a lot more pain than usual. I know that extra pain was triggered by stress. My Mom was in the hospital twice last week, and no the doctors have not figured out yet what is wrong. Sometimes i really would like to do something nasty to those doctors but i don't follow through with it because i am trying to be a good latter-day saint and to me, hurting those doctors that aren't figuring out what is wrong would take me off my path. I've been praying and hoping that they will very soon find out what is wrong and do what needs to be done to help my Mom.

But that isn't all that is stressing me. I've mentioned before that i am waiting to hear from a friend that is far away. I still haven't heard from this friend. I woke up from a nap just a little while ago during my nap i had a dream that he was in some kind of accident and was hurt very badly. I hope and pray that he is well and happy. I had thought i would have heard something from him by now but maybe i'm just being too anxious. Is it possible that he is just busy with other things and has not yet had time to contact me? I don't know. I will keep hoping to hear from him.

My Mom decided, since all the troubles with her health recently and because she is trying to get rid of as much stress as possible she decided to finally let me have her dog. I've only been asking for him since she got him, i think it was about 6 yrs ago but i'm not sure on the time frame. He's a Bichon Maltese, his name is Muffy and now he is finally mine!!! I am so happy about that!!! Of course he also responds to the name Honey since that is what i've always called him whenever i've been alone with him. While he was my mom's dog whenever she went on a trip or had to be away from home overnight Muffy would come and stay with me. and i always called him Honey. So, Mom if you're reading this then next when you visit us he may or may not respond to Muffy but we'll just have to wait and see....

I've been reading a lot lately. I finished reading the books, The Old Curiosity Shop, Drum's Ring and am now reading The Apocalypse Watch. All of those are good books, I really like all of them for different reasons. I love all Charles Dickens books. Drum's Ring i was first intrigued my the historical setting and the great amount of effort that went into detail, i was saddened near the end when one of my favorite characters was killed, although unintentionally. i am only 100 pages into The Apocalypse Watch but i am really enjoying it. I love these types of books(spy,espionage)not quite sure how to classify it. I love that it's various characters are in several different countries and that some few get to travel between them. I am loving the suspense and am probably going to continue reading it after i finish this post because i am anxious to see if a terrible occurrence that was predicted by one character is going to come to pass or not. i am hoping not. Maybe someday i'll share the reason that i started being obsessed with books when i was 10, but i won't share that today.

One other happy thing to mention is that the last time i spoke to my sister she had said she would come visit me after work. I really hope she does, i could sure use some distraction from the things that are stressing me right now. If she does come over tonite she'll probably be here around 6:30 so that gives me a little bit of time to do some reading

Update, and a few thoughts

It's been quite a while since i've done a post, reasons (a)i've been reading 'The Old Curiosity Shop' by Charles Dickens and have been lost in it. I always have loved Charles Dickens writings and this one is definitely no exception, therefore i have found myself reading for hours at a time and postponing other things in my life (b)emotionally i have not been doing well lately and so i have been avoiding certain things that i usually take great pleasure in (c)i am still waiting for contact from a friend who is far away and i have not heard from in quite a while, i'm not putting my life on hold while waiting to hear from this friend, but i am getting more anxious by the day since this friend is very important to me.

Just now i'm in the middle of reading an article i came across and was stopped in my tracks when i came across one particular paragraph:

Rebellious men hate the past because it is full of providential meaning, and they hate the future because it is unpredictable and uncontrollable by man. Rebellious men also hate time because it is limited and reminds them of their appointment with death, and they hate eternity because they cannot control it or access it on their terms. But since time is inescapable and since what has happened shapes what is and what will be, rebellious men seek to make God and Christ remote from the present and future by abstracting them from the past.

if you'd like to read more of the article click here

Thanks for reading this post. I will try to be here and post more often, even though right now life is not very easy for me.
I got the news just a little while ago that my Mom is in the hospital for the second time in as many days, I am quite worried, and i'm praying that they'll find out what is wrong and help her get better.

Woeful Wedding

Woeful wedding: 40 killed by suicide bomb
Last night in Kandahar's Arghandab district, a suicide bomber reportedly attacked the wedding of a man who had joined a local anti-Taliban militia, killing up to 40 wedding guests and wounding 77 more, including the groom.
To read more click here

My botched Wednesday

    I had made plans to spend the afternoon with my Mom. When morning came, it started raining here. I know my Mom doesn't like to go out when it's raining if she doesn't have to and i try to avoid going out when it's raining, because if my back gets too cold i get a flare up(from fibromyalgia).
   So i called my Mom this morning and we decided to cancel our plans for today. We're still going to get together on a nice weather day, we'll just have to wait for that day to arrive.
   I was sitting here reading. Right now i'm reading 'The Crimson Chalice' by Victor Canning. I had put my book down for a minute and then forgot what i was going to do, so i was looking around me trying to remember...and the phrase 'the new key to an ancient enigma' got stuck in my mind. I was trying to figure out where it came from. I knew that i must have picked it up from somewhere. You see i've been an incurable obsessive bookworm ever since i was given a book for my 10th birthday (that book, my first book, was 'Anne of Green Gables', and yes i do still have that book). So, i've picked up the habit that when i don't have a book or magazine in my hands, and i'm not doing anything i look around me and read anything that i possibly can. I've read descriptions on boxes, street signs millions of times, advertisements on the street, i read anything that has any writing, if it's something like a licence plate that just has random letters than i make up silly sentences to go with them. Many times i will do these things while i'm thinking of something else and i'm barely aware that i've read something, or made up a silly sentence.
   So, to shorten this story a bit, i started looking around me and try to figure out where i'd read that sentence. It took a while, but eventually i found it. To explain a bit, my bookcase is right next to my computer desk, so i finally realized the sentence 'new key to an ancient enigma' is the sentence on the front of a book that is on the right side of my book case on a shelf that is the same height as the top of my desk. So, mystery solved! The name of 'that' book is 'Solving Stonehenge'. And it was a very good book! I remember that after i'd finished reading it i went back and re-read a few of the most interesting chapters.
   I highly recommend both of these books, they are fascinating, captivating and they both held my interest throughout. You see i've read so many books that it is not often anymore that a book will keep me interested from page one all the way through to the end. Even if a book doesn't keep my interest i still read it through to the end. Once i've started reading a book i just have to finish it. I guess i'm just a hopeless bookworm.  On a scale of 1-10 how much of a bookworm do you think i am? I'm anxious to find out what your response will be!!!

O Captain!

i'm in the process of working on another post that is about something close to my heart, progress is slow because i have not gotten rid of this migraine yet(on day7 now). So, i decided to share a poem that has always been close to my heart. It may sound weird but it makes me think of my father who was killed on 23 August 2001, as well as many other things. I lost so much time with him while i was growing up, my Mom moved us(my sister and i)to a different city and no effort was ever made for visits. Later i found out that there were a lot of lies told on both sides that prevented any visiting....anyway i didn't mean for this to turn out so sad...here's that poem

O Captain! My Captain!

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
           But O heart! heart! heart!
               O the bleeding drops of red,
                   Where on the deck my Captain lies,
                        Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
              Here Captain! dear father!
                  The arm beneath your head!
                      It is some dream that on the deck,
                          You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship come in with object won;
             Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
                 But I with mournful tread,
                      Walk the deck my Captain lies,
                          Fallen cold and dead.
                                                    -Walt Whitman

Image found on the web, to reach the site i found it on click here

A Quaker's eye opening experience

I truly believe this article is important. i'm posting this hoping that someone out there will follow the link and read the article. Or maybe i'm just drawn in by eye(or mind)opening experiences.

http://www.mcldet186.org/other.cfm?mc=let1

Migraine hanging on

I'm quite tired and run down from having this migraine for the last 5 days, so i guess tonite i'm just going to go through my thoughts. There is a blog i like to read because i get more differing opinions on American politics than i can get anywhere else, since he posts excerpts from many different sources. What i don't like is when he makes comments bashing the religion of Islam.
  I understand that he, and i and everyone else is entitled to their opinions. However i worry a little about the hundreds of followers he has. Will they assimilate his view because they trust him, or because they've noticed that they agree with him on 98% of issues that he brings to his blog through his personal posts (meaning non-excerpt posts, or personal comments made before or after the excerpts). I'm trying not to be judgemental or critical. I'm just typing-out-loud, instead of thinking-out-loud. I really hope that those people are making their own judgements and not just following the herd.

Here's a hopefully short story about my view of Islam. I will readily admit that I don't know all that much about the religion, though i would love to learn anything i can about it.  Anyway, at the age of 15 i met this girl who helped me through a period where my depression was very bad, shortly after the first time i was raped. Her and i became very close!! She did not wear hijab (i think that's the right term, but if i am wrong please correct me) at that time. It was about 4 or 5 months before i was invited into her home. When i walked into her house i was pleasantly surprised, her whole family was as kind, considerate and understanding as her. There was a feeling of calm and acceptance in the home. I'm 32 now and lost touch with her, we'll call her K.A., many years ago. I often wish that i knew where she was now, i deeply regret that we did not get to continue our friendship, i moved to Sudbury at the same time K.A. and her family were moving to Toronto. She was proof to me that what most refer to as 'the religion of peace' can be just that. Unfortunately like in everything else you can get some bad 'seeds' that ruin the reputation for others. I respect and admire Muslims and always will. Others have tried to convince me otherwise, but they can not change the experiences i had with K.A. and her family i will love them and admire them for the rest of my life.
ok maybe short story turned out to be long. Sorry if this was too long. I needed to get my opinion out. I would very much like to hear what anyone has to say on anything i said here!!!

Media: my view

There is something that has been bothering me for quite some time and i just can't hold it in anymore. i know it's not healthy to hold anything in, especially something as negative as this, but until i started this blog i didn't have anyone to talk to who i could share all my thoughts with.

Among my friends and family i have to be careful what topics i approach with them and how i word my thoughts. i know this doesn't sound good, but my family is quite dysfunctional and my friends are sensitive on certain controversial topics.

i really can't stand how media only portrays one side of each story. No matter what the topic is: politics, religion, education, human rights, etc. Pick any topic, issue or concern!! Whether the 'news story' is coming from tv, radio, newspaper, etc they all have to pander to the general leaning of views of the owners of their media outlets, if they don't they're out of a job. Makes me think monopoly. See a lot of people think monopolies are only a company having the lion's share of control over a certain service, commodity, etc. Anyone who owns a news tv station, radio, newspaper, etc, have a monopoly (complete control) over what their employees portray to the public!

Now i do realize that many people might disagree with me on this, journalists at least, i'm assuming, but keep in mind this is my opinion.

It really makes me mad when people read the newspaper and, well....lets say a woman reads an article in her local newspaper on local politics while she's having breakfast. She reads that journalist's, or the owner of the newspaper's view on the situation and thinks, so this is how it is? No! It's not! There are always two sides to every story and the public usually is fed only ONE side of that story.

I always suggest to people that they do research and find out what the other side of the story is before making their opinion and especially before acting on it!! That's what i do. I do realize that not everyone has the time to research the other side of every story, but please do it for the important ones. When an issue is important, or a race or religion is being 'bashed' (can't think of a better word for it), please find out what the truth is, don't rely on one or two journalists to tell you what your opinion should be. A long, long time ago newspapers were first published so that the public could be more informed about the truth of important things, and the letter from the editor was the only opinion piece. Now they are mostly opinions. It really makes me wonder where the world will be 20, 50 or even 100 years from now.
This has been my opinion and view of the 'media' at our disposal, would love to hear what yours is!!!

A pun, quote and a thought

found these in my email and couldn't resist sharing :)

Pun:
A man drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes Bends

Quote:
If you wait, all that happens is you get older

Thought:
True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.

Seeing A Fallen Soldier Home

I came across this article and it made me cry like a baby. I've included a portion of it , to find the full article follow the link below
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
His name was Marine Lance Cpl. Justin Wilson - although I did not know it when his life brushed mine on March 25 at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. Lance Cpl. Wilson was not there in the terminal that afternoon; at age 24 and newly married, he had been killed in Afghanistan on March 22 by a roadside bomb. A coincidence of overbooked flights led our lives to intersect for perhaps an hour, one I will never forget.
I did not meet his family that day at the airport, either, although we were there together that evening at the gate, among the crowd hoping to board the oversold flight. I did not know that I had a boarding pass and they did not. I did not know they were trying to get home to hold his funeral, having journeyed to Dover, Del., to meet his casket upon its arrival from Afghanistan.

I also did not know that they already had been stuck for most of the day in another airport because of other oversold flights. But I did not need to know this to realize what they were going through as the event unfolded and to understand the larger cause for it. No matter how we as a nation have relearned the lesson forgotten during Vietnam - that our military men and women and their families deserve all the support we can give them - despite our nation's fighting two wars in this decade, it is all too easy for most of us to live our lives without having the very great human cost of those wars ever intrude.
But it did intrude heartbreakingly that day at the airport gate. It began simply enough, with the usual call for volunteers: Anyone willing to take a later flight would receive a $500 flight voucher. Then came the announcement none of us was prepared to hear. There was, the airline representative said, a family on their way home from meeting their son's body as it returned from Afghanistan, and they needed seats on the flight. And there they were, standing beside her, looking at us, waiting to see what we would decide. It wasn't a hard decision for me; my plans were easily adjusted. I volunteered, as did two women whom I later learned sacrificed important personal plans.

But we three were not enough: Six were needed. So we stood there watching the family - dignified and mute, weighed with grief and fatigue - as the airline representative repeatedly called for assistance for this dead soldier's family. No one else stepped forward. The calls for volunteers may have lasted only 20 or 30 minutes, but it seemed hours. It was almost unbearable to watch, yet to look away was to see the more than 100 other witnesses to this tragedy who were not moved to help. Then it did become unbearable when, in a voice laced with desperation and tears, the airline representative pleaded, "This young man gave his life for our country, can't any of you give your seats so his family can get home?" Those words hung in the air. Finally, enough volunteers stepped forward.

I had trouble sleeping that night; I could not get out of my mind the image of the family or the voice pleading for them.When I met my fellow volunteers the next morning at the airport, I found I was not alone. One had gone home and cried, and another had awakened at 3 a.m.; all of us were angry and ashamed that our fellow passengers had not rushed to aid this soldier's family and consequently had forced them to be on public display in their grief. We worried that this indifference to their son's sacrifice added to their sorrow.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/may/28/seeing-a-fallen-soldier-home/

just some thoughts

   Just in case you're wondering, yes, my cat, Belle, did have her hyper time the other nite, this morning as well, which is unusual for her since she only has one hyper time and that's around 10pm. I guess she's making up for lost time :)

After having waited 4 days the guy finally came by to fix my toilet and bathroom sink today. Now the sink is only temporarily fixed, he's going to have to replace the pipe underneath the sink, which he didn't have time for today, but he did say he would get to it, probably next week. So glad i live in an apartment and don't have to actually pay for the repairs or for his time.

Although i would love to have my own house i don't have the money for it. I'm on a very limited income and still single. I do want to get married. I have met someone who i think would be an amazing hubby and i would consider it an honor if he were to choose me, but i will just have to wait and see. Sometimes the waiting is hard, but i know i have to be patient. My Mom used to tell me 'all good things are worth waiting for'. I believe she's right, but the waiting is still hard.

I received a notice from the city saying that since my address ends with an odd number i am only allowed to water the grass and garden on odd numbered days. I've never seen this happen here before, but apparently the water shortage is serious this year, and there will be hefty fines for those who don't abide by this rule. I understand why they are doing it. I just hope that everyone understands as i do. It would be awful if some people don't abide by this rule, if we end up running out of water in the middle of the summer....well i really don't want to see that happen.
Hoping and praying for the best in all situations mentioned above!!

All's Quiet

    Today has been a quiet day. Only me and my cat Belle here today.

 Photo courtesy of my sister's cell

   Yesterday my sister and nephew were here visiting. I had a good time with both of them. I introduced my sister to a typing game that she fell in love with(it's hard to find games that she actually like lol).
I enjoyed watching my nephew play my new xbox360 game (samurai warriors2). We had pizza for supper and then came the sad part when they had to go home.
   I've been waiting to receive and email from a friend that lives far away from me right now. I'll keep being patient and hope it comes in sometime this month.
   I didn't get to go to Church today which turned out to be good after all since i woke up with a migraine...i get migraine's way too often, and for so many different reasons.
  Right now just trying to get some reading done and keeping quiet, don't want to make migraine worse, and hoping to get to bed at a decent time tonite if i can. Hoping my CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) won't stop me from sleeping. I do need some rest tonite.
   My cat has been more quiet than usual today, might be from the fact that yesterday was clip the claws day. She got through it alright but has been quiet ever since, in about an hour she's due for her usual nightly 'hyper time' which usually lasts five minutes.

First Post

   I've been fascinated by blogging for a few years, and this is my first attempt at having my own blog. I spent pretty much the whole day at viewing other blogs to get an idea of what some other people were doing. I haven't decided yet in which direction i want to take my blog. I have many opinions and ideas floating around my head, so i may take a few days at least for me to decide what i want to do with my blog.

  In the meantime(which happens to be the title of a good book that really helped me out in the past) i decided to share a bit about myself. Family is very important to me. I have 4 stepbrothers that i love dearly, and who are quite a bit older than me, and one sister who is only 3 yrs older than me. That makes me the youngest, and even at the age of 32 i am still referred to as the baby from time to time. I also have 9 nephews and 3 nieces.

   I was born in southern Ontario (Canada), but have spent most of my life in Northern Ontario. The small town that i now live in is the place that i call home and where i feel most at home. I did spend a year in Iqaluit (Baffin Island) which was an amazing experience that i am very grateful for.

  I've recently begun re-attending the Church that i chose to be baptized into at the age of 19, effectively and forever leaving the Catholic faith in which i was raised. For the past two years i have wanted to and made efforts to study other religions and to learn what i can about them regardless of mainstream medias views of them or any prevailing opinions, i like to make up my own mind on things after searching out true facts. In each case I've been able to fairly easily identify the reasons that i think these religions would appeal to others beyond the obvious one of being raised in it.

   Recently i've been trying to do a lot of self-analysis to try to figure out why i have made the mistakes that i have in my life. A few of those mistakes i deeply regret, but mostly i believe that our experiences, including our mistakes, shape who we are, and that we should be happy to be who we are. I've recently gotten myself into a situation which could turn out just like the mistake i made 12 yrs ago. I lost an amazing opportunity that would have brought me many blessings by making the wrong decision back then, i hope that i am wiser now and that when the time comes i will make the right decision in this situation that i am currently facing. I'm not trying to be mysterious, but i am trying to be tactful.

   I guess that's enough about me for now, i have some thinking to do and hopefully soon my posts will become much more interesting.